Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
