Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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