so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
