Midget sex pt 2 tonight
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Randomize
