I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
