Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
