Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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