Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
