Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
