i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
