She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
