This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
