She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
