you traded sex for a burrito?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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