it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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