turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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