I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
