He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
