tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This baby is an asshole
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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