gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
