I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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