Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
