Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
That's when you crack a 10am beer
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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