shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize