My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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