But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is it fun? or sober?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
