Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
