Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
