i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
