its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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