Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
