oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
