We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
