I wannas sexs uuuuu
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
