oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
