Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
