this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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