the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
