i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
