I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
