Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
