Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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