oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
