I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
