The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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