I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
