..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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