i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
