He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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