My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
