He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
