I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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