I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
