You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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