when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
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