He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
