bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
