I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
