Porn is love you can see.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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