Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile

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(860): View more from Connecticut

WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!

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(703): View more from Virginia

So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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(404): View more from Georgia

Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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(540): View more from Virginia

Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus

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(315): View more from New York

And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru

(1-315): View more from New York

That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.

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