i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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